To back track a little, we never could to say we were "done" having kids. We just weren't ready for that finality. A few months before Christmas we started talking about it. Ok, "I" started talking about it and of course, talked it to death. We decided we would give it a try at the end of the year and see what happens. We love having 3 kids, but felt like our family wasn't quite complete yet.
It worked and I knew it. I felt all the symptoms imaginable, but didn't want to believe it bc it happened so quickly, and thought maybe I was just trying to think myself into it. John knew something wasn't right either because my workouts were severely lacking, ok they downright SUCKED! I was so tired, and felt gingerly in my movement. I took a few tests and all negative, but I FELT pregnant. I took another test on the day I was supposed to have my cycle (like everyone says you should) and finally a confirmation of all I had been feeling.
So fast forward a week and we hit a major bump in the road. Bleeding and Cramping. Not something I wanted to see. I've never miscarried before, but I felt this surely it was not a viable pregnancy. We went into my doctor at 5 weeks and discovered through internal ultrasound (oh so fun), a blood clot separate yet attached to baby sac. No bigger then the end of my pinky. That was the culprit. I was scared and wanting answers but really were given none because of how early it was. My options were, 1) You will pass the clot without the baby. 2) You will pass the clot with the baby. 3) Clot is coming out one way or another.
I gave blood that day, on Thursday, and again on Saturday. I called all weekend to see if results were in, but of course not. So Monday I call and find out that my numbers had gone up, but not doubled. My doctor said that they should've doubled and will most likely miscarry. BUT, to come in later that week to talk about my "options". We all know what that means.
That was hard. I was crushed, and the waiting of when my body would decide to pass this little one was making me crazy and scared. Another BUT, I STILL FELT pregnant. I talked to everyone close to me that this had happened to and we figured it was just my hormones playing tricks on me. Another thing also was that I had stopped bleeding. Hmm.
So I go in later that week alone, and see a doctor that I had seen a couple years earlier and we do another ultrasound. My whole ride there, I felt a little hopeful, but as soon as I got there, I was a shaky mess and my doc said, "I know you're anxious, let's just get started". Love her. We see and hear a HEARTBEAT! I burst into tears. I couldn't believe it. I got pics and got sent home with another 1) The clot will pass with the baby 2) The clot will pass without the baby 3) Your body will absorb the clot. Didn't know 3 was an option and am downright Praying for 3!
So overjoyed, yet still nervous, we press on. I go in 2 weeks later (8wks) and hear heartbeat and get pics via regular ultrasound. JOY!!! Clot still there, but Dr is confident my body will absorb it. Her confidence is all I needed and I continue to press on. Next appointment in 4 weeks. Seems like an eternity. I feel very pregnant. The "girls" hurt and are huge, I'm napping everyday, sometimes twice. I am so nauseous on and off all day, I'm eating every hour and I'm craving everything that involves bread and pasta. Needless to say I'm just trying to get thru this first trimester.
For each symptom tho, I'm thankful.
The day before my 12 week appointment, I start bleeding again!!! Heavy and Bad. AHHH! But, no cramping. It was a complete shock since I had been feeling great (pregnant great)! I was terrified and just couldn't believe it. John and I went in, and wouldn't you know it, baby is completely fine. HR is great, cervix is great, placenta is great. It is such an oxymoron to have bleeding, yet see on a screen that everything is fine. It just feels wrong, but we still keep pressing on. A follow up appt a few days later and again all is well.
So we sit here at 13 weeks, with our little 8 cm baby, and 3 cm clot, whom we are now calling "Klotniss Everdeen" because we are big Hunger Game fans (lol), and thinking what happens now? What about my work, my workouts, Beachbody, and Shakeology? First and foremost A LOT OF PRAYER, A LOT. Other than that, Nothing. They will all continue as best I can. I've been told to take it easy, because if I rustle around Klotniss, it could bleed. Is that a bad thing? It's unnerving, for sure, but was told it can not affect the pregnancy.
I spent my last 3 pregnancies eating everything in sight , being inactive, and gaining 50lbs each time. I don't want to do that again. I had a VERY rough time post partum. I want to prove to myself that I can gain a healthy amount of weight and do it with fitness to help me. Don't get me wrong I realize I'm pregnant and these are my "Eating Days"! I will enjoy it believe me! But I will not let myself completely go as I have before and have such a hard time postpartum physically and emotionally. I know I am a little more "high risk" now, but all the more reason I need to take care of myself. It's not about me, I have a family and a little one counting on me. I want to do this the best that I can.
My workout plan during this pregnancy is PiYo, the Pilates Yoga combination that is completely low to no impact and slower fluid movement. I think that will be just what I need to keep me sane, active, and safe.
We would love your support, prayers, and help through this process! I'm hoping to be a positive influence, yet all the while keeping it real. Thank you for sharing in this with us! Much love all!
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