They always say that when one life ends another begins. Obviously that's true or we would have to wonder where all these people came from! I swear my Nana had something to do with this next bit of information, don't ask me how, but I could swear she did.
A week after I got home from taking care of my Nana, I went to the ER for Gall Bladder pain. I had seen my Dr for this before I went to Cali, but we didn't have time for a proper diagnosis. It was/is upper abdomen, sharp pain that radiates into my back. Anyway, as I went to the ER in hopes of emergency surgery I got the news from the Dr working that night that they could do nothing for me. "Why!!?" I yelled (seriously) at her. "Because, you're pregnant." she said.
"What!!! (expletive, expletive, expletive), are you sure!?" Tears.. disbelief and a sweet nurse trying to get me to look on the bright side later. I drove home at 7am (I had gone there at 2am) calling my Dad first to tell him, and wake him up since it was 4am in AZ. He laughed, by the way, which didn't help, but he was happy for us.
I get home to tell John exactly how she told me and he just hugged me, he was awesome about it. It has taken me weeks to accept this and be excited for it. It was such a mix of emotions I don't think I can explain it quite right. I lost my nana, who was like a mother, not in the sense of I talked to her all the time, but I always felt mothered by her, words and touch. I missed my Bakersfield family who I got to spend a whole week with and laugh, cry and share with. I was jumping back into being a wife and mother again after having my entire life center around my Nana (meds, changes, reading, singing, holding hands, all of it), my stupid pain in my stomach still hurt, and now... I'm pregnant. I was pretty lost there for a little while. Dazed, sad, not sure what I wanted, or what to do with myself. My wonderful husband had no expectation of me, but to just be. Go through what I needed to go through, however long that took. What a guy, for real.
Now, I'm 14 weeks, am on 2 meds for my stomach pain which are helping, I still miss my family but I talk to them more than I used to. I still miss my Nana especially when anything Mexican (food, language, or tradition) crosses my path, but I know she's "with" me. I've heard the baby's heartbeat 2 times and I'm so excited now about having another little one.
Nothing is perfect of course, but my life is definitely not about perfection. I feel blessed... shocked and unworthy most days, but so blessed. Thanks for listening. Enjoy the pics.
At the zoo
4 comments:
:o) Hooray for babies!!!
I for sure care! Thanks for sharing! Love you! So excited for you too! You are gonna totally rock 3 kids!!!!
Mich, I am sorry that you are feeling pain, and I understand the odd moments that bring up memories (for me it is French things). Some days I am still overwhelmed by it.
Congrats! You are such a great mom, and I know that you will grow even greater every day :)
Loved your post and your honesty! Loved the pics and video.... Grady is SO big. You are already an amazing mom, and baby #3 is so blessed that God has chosen you and John to be her parents (yes, I'm guessing girl).
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